Please know that I will be remembering Matthew on the first anniversary of his passing....

Darice Heishman  Patriot Guard member ~ Kansas City

Dear Matt,

I never had the chance to meet you but I worked with your Dad. I know it's almost a year now and I know how much he missed and still misses you. But they say the apple don't fall far from the tree and in this case I had to honor of working with your Dad and I know how proud he was and is of you. I'd like to think that knowing your Dad was in some small way from his love for you and stories of you and how much honor he has had in your life and your passing and still now in your memory.. a bit of knowing you. God Bless and Keep You and Your Dad and Mom and Sister... Magic

  Well, not only is it your favorite holiday, it's also 11 months since you left this world.  This last year has been such an incredible blur to me. I can't believe it's almost a year, and it hurts just as bad as it did the day we found out.  Slowly, we're trying to learn to get through this, but I guess it never sinks in. You've been in my dreams a lot lately, and I find myself just staring off into the sky, looking for some sign that you're watching over me. I miss you so much Matt and God I wish this was just one of my horrible dreams. We're going to the cemetary and visit you, so I'll keep it short. I love you Matt...more than you could ever possibly know.  Happy Fourth of July babe, enjoy the fireworks tonite, you've got the best view there is!

Sa Sa

Matt,

Talked to Sa and Dad today and we are all having lots of memories of you lately. Can't believe it is almost a year since we were told you were gone. I still can't wrap my head around it. We have all tried to get better but miss you like crazy. Poppy is doing well. He is moving on but misses you and Granny tons. He talks to you every day and lights his candle every night for the two of you.

We are trying to decided what to do for your year...and so if you have any ideas on what you might want us to do...send us a sign.

I went to see you yesterday and sat and watched the pinwheel Janice's sister got for you. It was nice to see it blow around and kinda peaceful watching it. I guess they are having fireworks at Leavenworth on Friday. Not sure if I will go or not but maybe I will just sit outside and find some somewhere to watch. Look at the great seats you and Granny have. You will see all kinds of fireworks this year up there. How very " SWEET".

Well, I just wanted to talk to you and to let you know I miss you. I miss your smile and want you to come hug me. But I guess that will have to wait till I see you. I love you, Matt. God...I miss you so much.

Love,

Mom

Hey Bro, I know its been awhile. Ive PCS'ed and had to In process to a new unit. It sux not knowing anyone here, but it was same the way when I in processed at the 127th. I know you remember that...."Party!!! WHOO HWOO!!! STARBUST WITH A TWIST!!!!!....

Ive been thinking alot of you lately bro...I miss you and your dumb jokes...

Matt,

I went to visit you today and cried almost the entire time I was there. It was a beautiful day, sun shining and in the 70's.  I just sat and it was so quiet and peaceful with you that I almost wanted to just stay there and veg with you.

To know you have been gone almost a year is so hard to understand. I talked to General Quantock this morning and we might get your statue down to FLW by Maglin Hall. I guess you know where that is since that was where you all trained. I hope you want it there, if not, you better give us a sign and let us know where else you might want it to go. We are also getting a Tree from CoolMoms and that is just very neat. We still need to find a place for that so that will take more time.

Poppy is having his surgery tomorrow. You and Granny have a lot of work to get his through this. He is very scared and I just don't know what to do for him. Tell Granny to watch over him and to be there when he goes under. He needs her.

I know the 4th of the month comes every month but today was very hard. Most 4th's are but as we get closer to August, the reality gets so hard to understand ...  WHY?

I miss you so much and next week is Mother's Day. I remember last year you sent me flowers from Iraq. Can you send me flowers from Heaven this year???  I love you so much and dad, Melissa and I miss you like crazy.

Be good baby and please get us all through the next few days. Love to all up there.

Love,

Mom

On the 23rd...Melissa and I spent the day with each other and she watched Homer while I went to look at a house. I know you want Homer to get out and run around and not drive me crazy anymore, right????

So that day was not bad, even knowing it was the last day I saw you alive. I should have gone to the airport to see you off but I knew I never would  have been able to do that. Maybe in my heart I knew why. BUT...yesterday and today are making up for the 23rd. I have cried and cried and I can't stop. I am so mad at the Army. I am fighting with FLW on getting your statue put down there and they just want our money. The state won't let me get a Purple Heart license tag...YOU have to get it.  Uh...do you drive cars up there???Bill thinks I am crazy...imagine that?  Poppy is having his lung surgery on the 5th of May and I still have no job. I guess they won't hire crazy mothers who's sons died in the service of our country and mothers that died 2 months earlier. Hum~~~

So, here I sit...missing you like crazy. I try to move on and some days I can but most I can't.  I wish I could get your bear hug from you and have you not let me go. I would even go for picking up the left over string cheese wrappers and empty Dr. Pepper cans...that you left all over...if I could just have one more day with you. One more hug, one more kiss. 

Mother's Day is coming and I want to see you pull another one off like last year and send me flowers from Heaven. Iraq was good but Heaven will be much better. Melissa will really be mad at you if you send flower from up there.    I will get his sent off to you now and know that even though its been a year and we all know you won't be back to see us...we love you tons and tons.  We miss you and a day never goes by without you showing us how important you were to us and how much you loved us. Please take care of Granny and you and her please watch over us. Just make this pain go away

I love you, Matt,

One year ago today Melissa and I took you to the airport to go back to finish your tour of duty in Iraq.  Your R & R went so fast it seemed.  I only wish I could hug you some more.  The pain is still here along with missing you.  Thank God I took the pictures of you and the one of you and Melissa.  They are treasures for eternity.  I wish it would have been easier to talk to one another when you got back to Iraq, however that was not possible due what you were going through  on your patrols.  I am so proud of you and your accomplishments I only wish you could enjoy them yourself.  There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you or something doesn't remind me of you.  I love you Matt and I always will.  Thank God you were a part of my life even if it was for so short a time.  I couldn't have asked for a better son than you.  Love Dad

PS: Till we meet again-I love you.

Today, 11 March 2008, out of impulse, I stopped by the Fort Leavenworth National Cemetery where I wandered through the cemetery and paid my respect to those who were buried there. 

I made it a point to visit the grave of CPL David Unger who was killed in Afghanistan in 2006.  I was still stationed here at Fort Leavenworth when he died and I remember the outpouring of support by the local community and the soldiers, Department of the Army civilians and family members who paid their respect when his remains were transported to the Main Post Chapel. 

Next to CPL David Unger's grave was that of SPC Matthew Murchison.  His grave is still adorned with items left by loved ones who still miss him.

I couldn't help but look at the date of his death, this last August of 2007.  I have recently redeployed from Camp Victory in Baghdad, Iraq on 11 February 2008 and I was also part of a convoy crew who convoyed almost daily the streets of Baghdad the same time that Matthew did. 

Even though I did not know Matthew or his family or loved ones, I still feel a tremendous sense of loss and mourning. 

I want to wish the Murchison family and his loved ones my deepest sympathy and condolences for his loss and I pray that you will find peace.  Rest easy soldier, job well done, you're home.

OK baby, I guess you know what has gone on today. Being 7 months since you left us is bad enough but now the black cloud still hangs over us. We don't know what you all have in store for poppy, but just make him happy and not hurt. He is so scared and I am not sure what to do for him. I guess I am going to head down there pretty soon but know I need you to come with me. Karen told me all about how you are with her and I am so proud of you to allow her to do the job she was put here to do. She lives her life for you, even though she never met you. What an honor, baby?  You have touched so many lives in such a short time that you blessed this earth that I am just so proud to have you as my son. Melissa, Dad and I miss you so much. I had a really bad week and I had hoped things would get better but I guess it is still going to take more time for me. Ya, know how slow I am  

Know I think of you every minute of the day. I miss you so damn much and I just want this pain to stop. If you have any clout up there, ask the Man to help me here. I need it now. OK...I will let you get back to work and I send my kisses up to you. I love you so much Matt and miss you more every day.

Love forever,

Mom

 Well, I can tell you're doing some work in mysterious ways.  I've been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching these last few weeks and I'm finally doing what I should and want. School's going awesome and I'm exctied to get it all done and get a job. As you know, the Marine is history now.  I'm sure you're smiling up there ;) I dunno, I miss you so much and I wish I could have ya here to talk to and hang out with. It's a comfort to know you're helping me through things and I'm feeling better now than I have in a long time.  I guess I know that things just fucking happen and you get over it, get through it, and move forward. You've shown me that and I will forever remember what losing you has taught me. Life is short, life is unexpected, and you gotta be happy. I know that's what you'd want me to know and that's just another gift you've given me.  I can't believe tomorrow is 7 months since you've gone...almost a year since the last time I saw you.  Don't worry though, cause I can close my eyes and picture the last time I saw you at the airport.  I miss you Matt. Keep watching out for me and helping me out. Keep us safe and take care of Poppy, I dunno if we can handle anything more right now. Help him through this and give him the strength to fight. Mom'll need some help there too. So, now all my requests are done, you've got a full plate of work ahead!  I love you Matt, stay safe angel!!

My sweet man,

We just got through Granny's birthday but as we were getting through that we found out the news about Poppy. Please help him get through whatever God has planned for him. I know you and Granny are watching over him.  We are doing what we can for him but we know where he really wants to be and that is with you both. Whatever the outcome, know we understand.

My birthday will be coming up soon and again, a day I would rather not remember. One year ago that day, we found out about Granny. Dad got a letter in the mail from the Red Cross, addressed to you in Iraq, telling you they were sorry about Granny but you never got it. You had already gone home to see her. How ironic?

Well, Bill and I are getting therapy. Not sure that is what we need to do but I have my faith that God will guide me to where I need to go. I know you did not like him but he was good to me at one time and I still love him.

Hope you are resting now that the guys are home from Iraq. Havens called and I have talked via email to Wilkerson. I am not sure who will come to see you but whoever it is, they are your true friends. They miss you, I am sure.

Well, going to get this sent off to you via the highway to heaven. I miss you so much and you would love Homer...he is so cute and a joy to have now...in my life. I got him for you Matt and he is living a life because of you. Thank you for him.

Love you so much and miss you like crazy.

Love, Mom

Hey you,
I just bought the Simpson Movie and I really want to tell you that I watched it and your humor is not quite like mine. It was really stupid but all the while I was watching it, I was talking to you about how corny it was. 
I also watched part of a video of you and Melissa at the old house on Goodman. You and BoBo were in it. I guess you already know about him and how he got hurt. Watch over him Matt, he was probably your first good play buddy. 
I am getting along all right. I feel a lot better these days and know that you are fine and happy with all that we know up there and you are with me all the time. I sometimes talk to you which makes me feel like I am crazy but since you already know I am, its not such a big deal. 
I guess you also know the guys will be home next week. They will arrive in Germany I think about Tuesday or so. I wish we could have been able to go there to welcome them home, but maybe it is best that we didn't. It is a bittersweet time for us...knowing you are not with them. I hope Joseph, Eric, Thomas, Lee and most of the other guys come to visit us so we can bring them to see you at Leavenworth. It will be a time to sit and hear all the stories about your time in Iraq. I will enjoy that time with them and I am glad they are all home safe.
Well, I wanted to say I loved you and that you are thought of every day by many, many people. Matt, you sure have touched alot of people's lives. I am so proud of you. 
I love you so much and please kiss Granny for me. Come talk to me and let me know you are here by me.
I love you,
Love,
Mom